Jokes why did the

Which door should he choose? Jeff has a wife. His wife is named Mary. Mary has 3 children, Mandy, Dandy, and Candy. Who is Mary's husband? Skip to main content. Birth to 5 Teens. Because T is its first letter, it ends with T and it has tea inside it. Goat 2: The book was better. Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?

To make up for his miserable summer. Why did the woman become an archeologist? Because her career was in ruins. Manatee who? Manatee would be better than a sweater today, it's hot! What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account? What snack should you make for the Snowman Holiday Party? Ice Krispy Treats. Why is there a gate around cemeteries? Because people are dying to get in! If it takes two men to dig a hole in one day how long would it take for one man to dig a half a hole?

There is no such thing as a half a hole. What is a zombie's favorite thing to eat? Brain food. It took 10 workers 10 days to build a bridge. How long would it take 5 workers to build the same bridge?

There's a girl on a boat in a pretty pink coat. What's her name? Where does a rat go when it has a toothache? To the rodentist. What does an alien do when it is bored in school? Spaces out. What does a broken plate say when she gets her cupcake? Is this GLUE-ten free? Have you heard the one about the student who was afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.

What do you call it when a hammock teases another hammock? What did they say when Marie Curie and Albert Einstein said the same thing at the same time? Greatest minds think alike! Why did the chicken go the hospital? Because it needed some tweatment! Why was the rabbit happy? Because somebunny loved him! What would happen if the dean lost his job? He would lose his "ideanity.

Because they are always up to something. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was out standing in his field. Why can't you spell dark with a "c", so it says "darc"? Because you can't c in dark! How do you clean a chicken? An egg wash! Because there was noBody on the other side. Give her some space. Why did the young astronaut cry on the moon?

Because he missed his mother earth. Why did the scientist take out the bell? He wanted to win the no-bell prize. Did you hear about the kid who drank eight sodas? He burped 7-Up. What be the pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? No, it be the C! Why do fish live in saltwater? Pepper makes them sneeze! The following four jokes were written by Kaleb, age 4, as told to his grandpa:. What did Mama cow say to Baby cow?

Why did the phone walk in the water? He was wading for a phone call. Why don't you ever date a tennis player? Because love means nothing to them. Cow Cow who? Why do hockey players make great bankers? Because they are good at checking. Red and Ms. Red live in the red house; Mr.

Purple and Ms. Purple live in the purple house. Who lives in the white house? The president! Why did the chicken cross the road? It was trying to get away from the KFC.

Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road? To go with the traffic jam! What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping? A dino-snore! What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frost bite! What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner is on me! What do you call Chewbacca with cookies in its fur? A chocolate-chip Wookie.

When is the best time to go to the dentist? At tooth-hurty!!! Why is "dark" spelled with a k and not a c? A new pig came to the farm, he was a great painter. What do you think his name was? What is the name of the Dutch pig who was famous for painting sunflowers and cutting off his ear? Vincent van Hog. What did the salad say to the carrot after it lost the fight?

You've lettuce down. What did the salad say to the carrot when it asked for directions to a restaurant? Beets me! Which milkshake always comes with a straw? A strawberry milkshake. What stories do crustaceans like best? Isabel who? Isabel not working? What has four wheels and flies? Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? What do sprinters eat before a race? What do pirates pay for corn? Icy who? Icy you in there! What do you call an illegally parked frog? Why are elevator jokes so good?

How does the moon cut his hair? Ice cream. Ice cream who? Why did an old man fall in a well? Why did the teddy bear say no to pudding? Because he was stuffed! To listen to the moo-sician! Why did the dog sit next to the fire? He wanted to be a hot dog! Why did the crisp cross the road? It was a walker! Why did the elephants get kicked out of the swimming pool?

Why did Tarzan spend so much time on the golf course? He was perfecting his swing! Why did the toilet roll down the hill? To get to the bottom! To get to the moo-seum! Why did the sheep cross the road? He really wanted a chocolate baaaaa! Why did the octopus cross the road? To get to the other tide! Why did the onion need help? It was in a pickle! Why did the tailor go to the doctor?

He had pins and needles! Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window? He wanted to see time fly! Why did the witch go to the doctor? She had a dizzy spell! Why did the axe go to the doctor? It had a splitting head! Why did the skeleton go to the restaurant? For spare ribs!

Why did the tree get in trouble? It was knotty! Why did the computer break up with the internet? There was no connection! Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a virus! Why did the girl run around her bed? She wanted to catch up on her sleep! Why did the bread go to the doctor? It was feeling crummy! Why did the burglar take a bath? He wanted to make a clean getaway! Why did the cup go to the police?

It was mugged! Why did the music teacher need a ladder?